World Domination
by falloutaki
Summary: The Best World Domination Speaches Ever Writen By The All Powerful Me.
1. Chapter 1

Try not to think of it as world domination, my friends. Think of it as cleansing the world! Think of all the bad things in this world, of how many evil people who tyrant around doing their abominable things. We need to put an end to such things, and people, I think I am the right person to do this.  
There are not many people who would be as willing as I to get up here and talk to so many people about taking over this world with complete peace! I will do it, and I will try my hardest to make sure everyone on this beautiful and wondrous planet is happy and safe! Who says there **has** to be an equal balance of good and evil? My friends, my comrades! We need to set these people straight and do the good this world needs! Rid it of such evils and bring down the people harming others! I can take this lead, I am not as inept as so many others who want to, and those who just chatter about what they **want** to do! We need a change and we need it **now**! Look people! We have such promise in these fine lands, too much of it is stomp and sat upon by wrong doers. There had to be a way to take them away from such power and I have these ideas! It is not as hard as you think! I can stop these people, and I can make sure they do not harm anyone else again.  
Such things need to be done, and my friends, it takes a little bit of payback evil to get these cretins out of this world! We can just hide when away in prison, or lock them up in forgotten places. Their evil would still grow and increase to the point where we could not stop them! They need to be cut down and buried underneath our own feet! They have stomped us by their wrong for way too long, and they deserve oh so much payback!  
The entire arena of people cheer, hoots, and hollers. *They all love these ideas and know they have been wronged for way too long by these politics and these neo-hilters. The gullible minds of these civilians will work to the mending of the cruel mistress spoon feeding them these beautiful words.*  
If you are with me, I can do anything! I just need you behind me, helping me. I can give jobs out to so many people with such wonderful pays that no one will be sad. As long as I get your helping hand, these people will never roam our world again!  
*More cheers to her words as I step off the stage, leaving them in a false sense of security. Who was to know other than I and a few others that with their help, they would just make everything better for me and my plans? I didn't really care about their welfare or their happiness! I just looked out for my own goal to be reached: The whole world in the palm of my hand. A cruel smile pulled upon my handsome features as I was greeted by my closely trusted.* "We snagged them. We have this whole world to meld to our own needs!" * As they left me little did they realize that after I was in power I had arranged for them to have a little accident, maybe even a couple of deadly painful accidents arranged specifically for my amusement and pleasure. The world was mine!


	2. Chapter 2

Greetings, citizens of the world. You may wonder why a voice is echoing through your mind. Take solace in the fact that you are not crazy - it will be one of the few comforts you are afforded in the coming years.

I come before you not as a fellow citizen, not as a man, nor a friend, but rather your new overlord. My hard-working team of scientists kidnapped from around the globe have finally perfected my machine, allowing me to transmit into and read from the minds of every living creature in the world. For your convenience, the automatic translator has been turned on. Aloha, bonjour, salam, hola and buzz-buzz-buzz.

The machine is informing me that some of you will pose great difficulties to my new rule, which was entirely anticipated. This is why I have instructed swarms of killer bees to descend upon your homes in advance, they should be arriving right about …, there we are.

Now that the rabble has been dispersed, here are your instructions. All your systems of currency are to be abolished, all your weapons destroyed and all your governments dismantled. You will have little need for money or bartering now that your lives exist solely to serve my every beck and call. No longer will you need to protect yourselves; criminals will be hunted down by bees - and those who oppose these rules by much, much worse. Your governments will be replaced by individuals most loyal to my cause, who will see to it that you are to be supplied with the bare minimum in necessities. Understandably, there will be some that are not satisfied with these limited essentials. That is why a tenth of the Earth's most miserable population will be fed to my army of bears each time until morale improves.

Some of you may worry about your employment in this new world. My loyal followers will ensure that each of you are kept working steady towards your new goals, no matter who you may be. Scientists and doctors of the world, you will begin research on unlocking the secret to immortality, as I intend to rule over this new world for all eternity. A device to shoot lightning bolts from my fingertips would be handy as well. Engineers, builders and architects, you will design me a flying fortress that can escort me and my personal army anywhere I may need to be at a moment's notice. A base on the surface of the moon and at the bottom of the sea is expected immediately thereafter.

Poets, artists and sculptors, you will design glorious monuments in my image, statues tall enough to reach the heavens, ballads to be sung in my honor to the future generations to ensure their loyalty. Teachers, burn your history books, the only thing that exists in this world now is the present and the future. Politicians, religious leaders and dictators - please wait patiently while the bees arrive for you, their previous flight has left them quite tired.

To the rest of you? Eh. Hrm. Do what you normally do, or just start digging holes until we get around to you. Between five and seven feet deep should be good. We're going to need plenty of them in the coming days!

If any of you have any questions, comments or concerns, feel free to address your nearest Loyal Overlord Servants. Should you hear buzzing approaching, well, you're not doing it right, but your insight has been noted, rest assured.

For now, I leave you to follow the rules and instructions you have been given. Delivering a speech from inside a hidden volcano fortress works up something of a sweat! Good night, slaves of the world, may this night be darker than any other for you, and may tomorrow's sun burn brightly for me.


	3. Chapter 3

Wow!  
For starters, I guess I should say I'm surprised so many of you could make it. I mean, sure, we only have…  
Bob? Hey? Bob? Can you see the big clock on the doomsday device from where you're standing? Yes? What's it say?  
Ten fifty-three? No, Bob, the BIG clock on the doomsday machine! I need the countdown, not the current time.  
Four minutes and twenty-six seconds? Thanks Bob!  
As I was saying, we only have four minutes and twenty six seconds left to live, and I'm sure all of you have loved ones and the like you could be spending this time with as opposed to little ol' me. So, first, I just want to say thank you. It means so much to me that, in light of the impending apocalypse, you're still here.  
We've been through a lot together, haven't we? From our humble beginnings as a Friday night dart league to our first clumsy attempt to kidnap Dr. Maples and bend his creations to our evil will… well… we've come a long way. So I want you all to give yourself a big pat on the back. I'd advise doing so quickly - while you still have paws to pat with and a back to pat! Which will be for approximately… how long Bob?  
Three and a half minutes? Got it!  
Now, it takes a big feline to build a doomsday machine but a bigger one to admit his mistakes. So I want to confess that, in retrospect, I probably shouldn't have ordered the construction of the machine that will, very quickly, be annihilating all life on this world and leaving it a charred husk floating in the eternal emptiness of space.  
I mean, for starters, Sally – I understand it's your birthday tomorrow? Or, at least, it was going to be. And I understand that this whole world ending thing is coming to you as something of a buzz kill. Anyway, in light of the circumstances, I hope everyone here will try and find the time in the next minute and a half or so to wish Sally a happy birthday. Yes, it's a teensy bit early, but it's my understanding the party tomorrow is going to be um… sparsely attended.  
I also know that I told you when we were building the DD machine that, under no circumstances, would I be firing it. There's been a bit of rumbling about what happened with that promise, so I just want to clear the air a bit.  
You all know I'm a bit type A, and I was genuinely looking forward to the subjugation of hostile nations, enslaving their populations, and the whole "ruling with an iron fist" thing. In short, I enjoy a good challenge, and I thought conquering the world was about as challenging as it could get.  
But then Bob over there… raise your paw for us, Bob. Yep. There he is. Great cat – if you don't know him, you should go introduce yourself. Quickly.  
Anyway, Bob over there was telling me that if I was going to do this world domination thing right, I had to have some sort of doomsday device so everyone knew I meant business. And, you know, I could see the logic of that. There's nothing quite like mutually assured destruction to get your point across.  
You all pretty well know the rest. We built it. We were celebrating. Bob and I had a couple more than we should have, but it was cool because Dana agreed to be the designated driver that night – thank you, Dana.  
Anyway, we were horsing around by the DD machine, which I know you should never do. But we were. Anyway, out of nowhere, Bob triple dog dares me to push the big red button. And, you know, you should never be horsing around by the doomsday machine to start with, but under no circumstances should you press the red button.  
But... C'mon... It was a triple dog dare. I can't just walk away from that.  
So, anyways, the countdown timer started. We didn't build an emergency shut off into it because, seriously, what would be the point in having a doomsday machine if you can just punch the shut off. You do that and pretty soon your threatening global annihilation if your team doesn't make the play offs, and I didn't want to be that kind of ruler. I have, you know, standards and stuff.  
So… twenty three hours and fifty six minutes later, here I am. Giving this speech to you, my loyal minions, and having it broadcast live on pretty much every channel there is. It's a crazy world, isn't it? Or, at least, it will be for another…  
Fifteen seconds? Bob! I told you to give me a one minute warning!  
Wow! Time flies! Alright. You've been a great crowd! Just awesome, even!  
Since I gotta wrap this up – you've all worked hard! Take tomorrow off! I insist! Ha ha! And enjoy the fireworks in:  
3…  
2…  
1…


	4. Chapter 4

Foolish mortals! You go about your lives per usual and yet do not know what lies beneath the surface! Lurking and waiting, my plans are about to unfold! I can see it now, your muffled cries...your terrified screams..the faces exploding with fear! Haha! You know it's coming, people! The wrath of the world will hammer down on you like acidic rain, burning through your sins and mistakes and giving you your just desserts! And boy, are they sweet! Mhm, I can taste them. Delicious! Wow, this makes me think of ice cream at a time like this...Aahh..the lovely taste of mint, but no, more then mint. Flesh! Bones! Brains, even! How am I going to do this, you probably wonder? Who am I, you're probably shouting at the top of your lungs in question?! I am the worst of the worst! Not even your scariest nightmare can compare to me! The bogeyman has nothing when I'm near! Even bats, cats, witches, and ghosts flee at the very mention of my name! Am I a monster? I think not! Am I zombie? Brains might taste good but neither do I lust for them, no I lust for power...for the world to crumble beneath my paws... Have you been inflicted by a curse, you cry? Of course not! This was how it was supposed to be! I'll be coming for you, yes YOU, listener. Run for fear, you can't hide, can't escape, couldn't even flee the planet without me at your back! I'll be creeping up your spine soon now..Halloween howls for my arrival, everything you've done will be in vain...because when that day comes...I'll be licking at your skin, tasting your goose bumps of fear...one by one you will fall under my hand. I can see it, dream it, I can promise you it for sure, my readers! One day, I will carry this world to its rightful place! No more mistakes, no sins, no trouble at all. A sound, sweet word sculpted into the very way it should be. Forget the bad and the good, there will be nothing of it. I will rip apart the world's shell and reveal the truth and its inner beauty! All in the process of shedding tears of blood, worthy of the sacrifice that must be made to make this world anew! How am I going to do this? You've probably been begging for the answer since I started. Well..that my listeners...lies behind the darkness, trapped beneath shrieks of panicked listeners just fleeing the scene as I speak! This speech is more in itself, it's a ticket into your mind! Slowly, so very slowly...I'm creeping past the barricades of your resistance and overflowing you with my presence...taking over, coexisting with your being...and you'll be poisoned into my control! There's no escaping me! For I am... For I am..your very shadow! Yes, you cannot remove me! Cannot pull me from your body! I am here, I've always been here, and I am COMING FOR YOU! "The End."


	5. Chapter 5

Hello, future citizens of my new world order. You stand before me, on this great day in history, because I already implanted a mind-control device in each of you. The machine is subtle - and so utterly ingenious - that you will never be able to tell what is you and what is an order I have issued. There is virtually no distinction, so the vast majority of you will have no chance to resist. Those of you who do, well, it releases a poison when you disobey. Muahahaha.

It is thanks to these devices that you all found reasons to be here today, and because of them that you cannot speak up to rebel against me. I have been working with your doctors for years, and the microscopic devices were installed in you through a variety of means. Flu vaccines, IVs, epidurals, basically anything that would give it access to you internal systems. The machine then finds its way to your brain, and works its scientific magic from there.

Really, you should thank me. You will not have to fight anymore, cannot be bullied anymore, and so on. You will, of course, still procreate, although I can't honestly say you'll have much in the way of relationships. I simply need new, young members added to my legions to keep them strong, that is all. You will be selectively bred like dogs, you might say.

This starts with your town, but will soon be the whole country, and then the world! No one will ever see it coming, as you will all externally appear to live perfectly normal, happy lives. I have turned off any hyper-sensitive activity in your brain, to prevent any, uh, unsavory spirits from depressing you. However, you have also been severed from dead relatives and other helpful things. I cannot risk these things overriding my system, but as your aggression to living people is minimized, you will not need as much additional support outside the physical world.

You will be put to work, breeding, producing food, and building great monuments in honor of my scientific prowess. You will be rewarded, with Snickers bars. Do not ask for freedom; your reward is Snickers bars, period. Will provide plain chocolate bars for individuals who are allergic to peanuts. I will also have a department of capable people specifically for making video games. Because I really like video games!

In time, I think, you will come to enjoy my world. If you don't, well, the mind-control devices have the ability to make your body release high amounts of adrenalin, dopamine, and norepinephrine. Then you'll be _delighted_ with it.


	6. Chapter 6

I already Rule the World. The World's people just never knew about it because I Rule from behind the scenes. So all of you who plan to take over My World...are out of luck, for I shall destroy you! I plan to keep ruling the world from behind the scenes, so that my puppet rulers are the ones who get assassinated, screamed aspect. and not me. I also plan to keep spying on all of you through my Evil Army of Cute Things, so you might as well just give up and not bother to fight against me. I may seem sweet and innocent, but you all fell into my trap and now I OWN you! I am a fair, but deadly Ruler, so your lives will not change much...unless you piss me off. So Acknowledge My Rulership Or Die! This will be your only warning. LONG LIVE ME!


	7. Chapter 7

[A crazy looking man with hot pink hair and orange markings steps out onto the stage, turning toward the audience. He bows and smiles crookedly at the audience, almost politely.]  
"Hello, my dear friends. I have come to tell you about my, eh heh, plan's. As you can see, I am a scientist. But I have a dream. In about... Four minute's you will all be ruled by me. I have a 'little' machine I would like to show you."  
[The scientist points to a huge contraption next to the stage. It has all kinds of blinking lights and it has in big red numbers '3:10'. That means there are 3 minutes and 10 seconds left until the machine fully works.]  
"This is my mind-control machine. As you can see, in three minutes and ten seconds, you will all be under my command. You will be sorted into groups. Some of you will make and find food, some of you will be doctors, a couple of you will be teachers and alot of you will even be bred. But do not fret, I will be kind. You will be paid with much food and happiness, because my mind-control machine also takes away all sadness and anger." [The scientist grins and rubs his hands together.]  
"I will also make sure you have shelter and medical attention. Okay? Well, I think that's all I have to say. There are only ten seconds until everyone in the whole entire world will be under my command..."  
[The scientist says many things like 'Nobody will make fun of me anymore...' before his voice starts to fade. In everyone's head the countdown starts.]  
Ten... Nine... Eight... Seven... Six...  
[The scientist says something real quick. "Oh yeah, you'll still be able to love your family and such." What an odd man. Something huge is about to happen and he is totally calm. The countdown continues.]  
Five... Four... Three... Two... ONE...  
[Bright lights flash, crazily loud sirens sound and then, everything goes black.]


	8. Chapter 8

Good afternoon, fellow inhabitants of this marvelous planet, Although I doubt there is a person among you who does not yet know the name of I, the most majestic leader to ever grace this Earth, I shall introduce myself. I am Lord Draste; though when you, commoners, dare to speak it, you shall precede it with "Hail, the Lord Draste!" or face the… _consequences_. But now I have been distracted from my line of thought... I must focus on the true meaning of this message. My plans for domination cannot be defeated; as it has been in the works for years and years now. All of you who gave into the fashion statement; who spent your precious Cents, Pounds, and Yuan on those bright orange, three inch platform shoes; **just** because they were **popular**. I hope you have enjoyed wearing those shoes… the hideous monstrosities that they were, and I hope you enjoyed being part of a worldwide sucker-fest. Haha… sucker-fest. See how clever I am? The words you will enjoy when I am King… But yes. Every moment you have been wearing those shoes, you have been absorbing nanites into your body… slowly but surely building up a population of nanites in your bloodstream and in your BRAIN which will give me, at my leisure, complete control over you. You shall all become a part of my worldwide army, and together, we shall crush those who choose not to join. For, I knew some people with intelligence existed out there – those who found the brand of shoe hideous, as you should have; and now, that I have weeded out the brainless, I know who to offer positions in my most important of agencies. The incentives for joining, and working, for this new, most brilliant government, are great. To not join is to be foolish… and force fed nanites once we catch you. Haha… see what I did? I knew how to play to the weaknesses of you **brainless morons**, and now, myself and other brilliant minds will prosper. Enjoy your life of servitude – unless, of course, I choose to set you free – my little playthings. Mwahahaha! Until we meet again, Au revoir, my playthings.


	9. Chapter 9

You will have realized by now that something is different.  
Maybe your tail knew it first, and only when your saw the hair standing up like a bottle-brush did you think and then fear.

It is your nature, given to you from the Mother of that name. Mother Nature is like any other parent, and she tries her best. Like your mother she shares all her gains and losses with her children. But, like any mother with trillions of children (there is a reason she is the only one), she makes mistakes.  
She may now and then forget a few thousand sons and daughters. Some of her designs come from the oven half-baked or solid. Some of us are incomplete and not thought out. Some of us must be fixed, broken down and made perfect again. But her resource does not grow on trees – it only makes them grow. So Mother Nature serves us up as if we were the intended product, on a porcelain world to distract us from our fatal flaws.

I found these long before your hair stood on end to tell you of my greatness, and behind your walls and in the wings I worked on my creations to repair Mother Nature's mistakes.  
You in sight and on stage are content in blindness. For your content as any beast you have my respect, and for your blindness I hate you, with all my heart and soul. My creations will give you sight, and your eyes will open as I have opened mine.  
At first they will have to be stitched in their proper place - until the true desire to see is yours. Now, afraid, you are no doubt searching for a safe room.  
You will notice my voice is everywhere.  
The fires of your fear will raze the city into perfect chaos. Now the law's sirens burst out of their stations and patrols to trace the recording. In your dictionary I am called "criminal".

How have I done you wrong? I have broken your order. I must be _secured_ as a warning to those who would break the order. The sum of your blind termite-mound of society is order for order's sake - you see it too, and you are horrified to know, aren't you? Think with your minds! The shapeless tangles of neurons have no traffic lights or government. They fire at will. Chaos makes your soul.  
Never govern your soul.  
_No-one will rule you but me._


	10. Chapter 10

A purple squirrel stands behind a lab desk grinning with a madness in his eyes." I see you have found yourselves lost within my laboratory." Grins more and pours a pink liquid into a blue liquid and a small puff of smoke escapes," What...oh I see your here to apprehend me for world domination. Well Too bad your too late. One the polar caps melt and thaw as a giant iceberg you will all simply obey me as your master. What's that you think you have caught my iceberg. Mwaahahahahah Fools I have hundreds like it around the world to spread my mind control agent as well as to spread my special brew of potions to cause mutations in half the population. NONE WILL LAUGH AT THIS PURPLE SQUIRREL AGAIN HAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU WILL ALL SUFFER FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME AND MY FAMILY. I HAVE SUFFERED LONG ENOUGH AND NOW NOW! YOU SHALL ALL PAY THE PRICE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...Manic laughter continues for sometime echoing down the halls causing those who hear to cringe in fear. surely this squirrel lost his mind a long long time ago


	11. Chapter 11

The talking will cease **now!** I would say hello and greetings but quite frankly, I do not care to. I have people to say it for me now. You have been herded here; much like the mindless sheep you are, to listen to me talk. As you well know, a change in the balance of power has occurred, and I rule you. However, I have decided you are completely unworthy of my rule. So, to rectify this, we will conquer the world, and see where we go from there. I believe I said shut up. This is not a request. I am not going to try and swing you to my way of viewing the matter, as quite frankly the only reason I do have you shot here and now, is that you will spend the next few years working your fingers to the bone producing uniforms, weapons, and other products. In order to control you, you will all be sterilized. Direct your attention to Section C for a visual. Oh, that did not look pleasant. Anyway, population control will now be done through cloning. You will all be force fed various chemicals to make you more obedient and sheep-like than you already are. It is not important that you know their names. Which brings me to my next point; you will no longer have names, but numbers. Direct your attention to the plasma screen for an explanation. Anyone who thinks to not blindly follow my orders can form a line over there, and take up your concerns with our human resources department. Please ignore the coppery smell. I am not going to lie to you, which will be the last time I treat you with any respect. More than likely, within the next half hour, nine tenths of you will be killed off for scientific purposes, or simply to amuse me. Like I said, with the new cloning program in place, your lives are pretty much worthless; which means much more of you will have to die, and your deaths be very painful and creative, in order to entertain me. Now, I believe I have wasted enough of my time on you. Get out, and get to work; or die slowly, and painfully. Make your choice, either way, you will die.


	12. Chapter 12

Creeping through the tendrils of the night. Howling evanescence puts you and me in fright. Orbs peering from the undergrowth, who could it, be? Chills running through your body as you wonder who sees. Hearts start to race faster and screams may emit. Your terrified face the candle light no longer lit. Emerging deep from the path, though it feels like a dream. You'll see soon enough, this dream is not how it may seem. My friends, it is I, who will soon take over your world. All that you know will tumble into chaos. The monsters that accompany darkness will flourish where your precious courage and hope once were. There is no room for cute and cuddly in the future I have planned for you all! The suspicious fogs of the night, something is suppressed there. When you're turning and tossing in your bed, something lays beneath you. As you comb your hair in the morning, something turns to watch you. What you throw away in the trash, something runs to retrieve it. Yes, these are the ghosts who fret and howl in the night. Invisible to your weak and unaccustomed eyes, yet your pupils are wide in fright. The shivering and standing up end of your hair is the sign they are waiting and watching. For the day I set them free!


	13. Chapter 13

_"Testing, testing. Is this thing on?"  
"It should be, Sir Radikai."  
"IDIOT! That's __**LORD**__ Radikai to you!"  
"Yeah yeah... just as long as I get paid."  
"*mutter mutter* Useless layabo-"_

"Oh! Hello! Hello, my fine, fine ladies and gentlefurres! It is I, Mokura Radikai, Your Neighborhood Mastermind of Mayhem and Beloved President of REEGARR!"

"Some of you may be wondering how in the blazes I've hijacked all the dream communication systems at once! Nevermind that, that's not important! For I bring to you a message! A message of hope for the rabble-rouser, the trick-player, the mayhem-maker! REEGARR needs you!"

"What is REEGARR, you may ask? This fine organization, known as the Raucous Evil Empire, Guardian of All Rookie Rabblerousers! We are, you could say, a protection agency. We are here to keep **YOU** and your fellow maniacal bretheren safe from both good and evil alike!"

"First of all, you have protection from Good. You know them - the do-gooders, the snitches, the Perfectly Ordinary Hero, and the backstabbers. Those who keep you from realizing your manical dreams! Those meddling followers of the straight and narrow, that do not see that just because your grand schemes merely LOOK awful from the outside, you are, in fact, making the world a more interesting place to live in? Phooey to all of them! They must be stopped, for the sake of mad science, for crazy schemes, for the very sake of Kasuria itself!"

"'But why,' you may ask, 'would you need protection from Evil? Are the Evil ones not us?' In some ways, dear furres, yes, we are the Evil ones! Evil ones to those among us that have no sense of fun, that want to keep everything the _same_, those who would live their lives in pointless toil and drudgery! And yet, there are those among us that go too far in their plans! Extermination, world domination, mass death - pah! What good will that do you afterward? You've accomplished your mission of mass destruction, and now what do you have? NOTHING! Isn't that dreadfully boring, dearest furres? And even worse - what if you are not the one performing such drastic feats? What happens when you and your plans are merely _brushed aside_ by those power-hungry bullies at the top of the pyramid? You have nothing to work for!"

"**THIS**, dearest furres, is what I, Lord Mokura Radikai, am up against! I am here to bring you into my home, my family, my beloved REEGARR! This is a call to action! I am asking every last one of you to stop, for a single moment in your lives, and consider joining our ranks! No matter who are what you are, there is a job for you! Bodyguards, thieves, book-keepers, book-cookers, cook-bookers, guinea pigs, mad scientists - the possibilites are endless!"

"And for those who doubt! For those of you reconsidering, I give you this! One of our fine works-in-progress, the Kiwification Ray!"

[The camera turns to one side, bringing into view a most fantastical-looking machine - three towering metal pillars, positioned in a circle. Attached to each are many, many bulb-like projections, flashing wildly through various colors. Attached to the machine itself is a control panel, with a ridiculous-looking switch labeled "ACTIVATE". Sitting in the middle of these pillars, tied to a chair and looking thoroughly disgruntled, is a nameless Rabben.]

"Behold, dearest furres, one of us who would dare interrupt our progress toward genius! Little Bunny Frou-Frou, as it were, learned of our awesome powers and attempted to scamper off to another, lesser, local Evil Overlord! And we can't have that, can we, dearest furres? Now, behold our power, and let this be a warning to anyone who would dare mess with a rabble-rouser: REEGARR will not stand for it! Wahahahaha!"

[Mokura throws the switch. Beams of light shoot out from the pillars, covering the Rabben in blinding light.]  
"AAAAAAAARGH...squaaaack?!"  
[And then, standing in the chair, sure enough, is a Kiwi Bird.]

"Soon enough, we will have progressed enough to not have machines so big! Indeed, we shall have in our paws an entire world's worth of mayhem! Think about this, dear furres - a remote control that, instead of changing channels on your television, let you change objects - and _meddling furres_ - into more useful forms at your whim! The possibilites are endless!"

"So, dearest furres, what are you waiting for? Do not be afraid to reach out and get in touch with your crazy side. Our job is to promote and protect a healthy sense of insanity! So join us! Find fellowship among REEGARR, and make the world a more interesting place to live in! But do-gooders beware - _we mean business_!"


	14. Chapter 14

Is it not said that history will eventually repeat itself? Long ago, I warned our world that we must adapt if we are to survive the ever approaching crumble of our planet, and the 'empire' that humans sought to create. When animals roam the realms of the dead, they will rise once more, and come into the streets to claim the landmarks that humans had so blatantly erected and expected to last until the ends of time! But alas, we choose to deny the possibility of elimination!Oh pity the poor soul who believes we are so mighty. Pity the poor soul who believes we are greater than Nature, who destroys as she pleases. A day will come when there shall be great tragedy. Do you choose to fall with this calamity, or rise before it, become _greater_ than it? Animals are said to be the most adaptable of creatures, and we were once just thoughts and theories. Did we come from the ape or something that cannot be fathomed? Yes, our future lives within the beasts from which we evolved! Plague and strife don't seem to diminish their numbers. For this reason and the curiosity of a select few, it is now possible to merge the DNA from these creatures into our own, the end result a creature of twisted visage. The truth hides just under our noses. They reside in your homes, your stores, and your work place. They are your senators, your prime ministers, your monarchs, and all that hold the land in powerful claws! How good is it to know that this experiment is happening now, as your heart thuds within your chest, and as your breath stills to a halt? Are you appalled? It was an undetectable of you may quake in fear, but I give you no option but to fall into line. Those who do not _evolve_ are inferior. This is an ever changing world, and in the palms of our hands, we control its turns. No. Not we. I control the world. Yes, domination, how sweet the word. All forms are life are forced to adapt or die. Telling yourself that you can survive is futile. I may be greedy, but it is greed aimed only at survival, and the lives of all kind. The true face of avarice is that of power in wealth. I believe that control is power, and domination is control. The great kingdom of man will soon fall into the claws of neither human nor beast, but something in between, something different all together. So how do you tell who is a beast and who is not? You cannot. They blend in, but holding powerful weapons. They are armed with venomous teeth, fangs and claws. The half-man, half-beasts stalk among you, the perpetual wolves among the flock of sheep. Do you glance in fear at those gathered about you? Perhaps they are your friends, family, or colleagues. They are all suspects. To hide, to strike, they alone know when their purpose is at hand. They are my spies, and on your breath they smell fear. Try to stop them if you wish, but you hold nothing but weakness. They, the beasts, are a species long forgotten in folklore; a chimera to some, a monstrosity to others. So what are these beasts? Perhaps ignis fatuus, something that deludes its victims. Yes, that is the best term of choice.

Why?  
That is a good question. Told to prepare for a future most bleak, offered an appalling alternative, would you not feel the same hatred? Countless hours in a lab to be turned away by the stupidity of humans! No, I will not be dissuaded! If the world will not allow a brilliant plan, then I shall force the world into it! Every single man, woman and child will become _mine_ to command, to own, and to rule. I cannot allow death to simply take us into its arms, and pull us down the river Styx without hope! All of your thanks should be directly aimed at me! You don't have to perish in tragedy, you just have to adapt unwillingly. To fight back would be foolish. Why fight a species that can tear the world asunder. Your chances would be better if you grabbed a viper, and hoped its bite would not claim you stand, shivering, cowering and wailing in despair. Fear is a powerful tool when used correctly. Can you stop me? Your trust is broken. All that is left for you is fear. Pity the soul who does not heed warning, for it is the first sign of truth. When the fate of man is final, only the cries of discord will fill your ears, for you ignored the signs. My armies follow only my command, their promises fulfilled and their desires met. They allow me to rule, and in return, their spoils of war are the power to control and live. In that state alone, is simplicity. Do not entertain the hope, nor the thought, of security. The armies of my choosing, the Chimera who gouge at your ranks, will poison your numbers. Never, will you see it coming. The plague, the disease, the strife. There is no cure for this cancer, and you will join us, willingly or not. So quake in fear and hide where you will, never will you escape. Arm yourselves; bring together armies, militias, the rebels at your disposal. But be aware. I see. I hear. And this world and all its riches…

They will belong to me.


	15. Chapter 15

Good evening all of you! I have finally taken over the world and I have to say that it feels amazing! I had planned for years on how to do it exactly and I must say...none of you ever suspected those cute little kittens would have the ability to control your minds! You fools! When it comes to cute cuddly babies, you just can't say no! *Ahem* But I digress on your foolishness. Today is about me and me alone! I have triumphed over all of you and there is nothing you can do about it. The world will make way for a new way of life because I am going to enforce a few rules. First! Everyone shall have to put aside one hour a day to worship me by watching my show that shall air each and every day! Secondly you all will only eat the food that I like! And third...ummm...you shall have to do all that I ask! Bwahahaha! *cough**hack**cough* Ughh pardon my cold, but I refuse to have my illness get in the way of my speach. I suppose I should wrap it up before music tries to cut me off huh? *Laughs evily* Once again I thank all of you fools and one more thing: I told the lawyer "Forget the subpoena! My monkey doesn't drive a lexus!"


End file.
